Month: November 2014

Jesus Christ Reveals the 7 seals from John’s Revelation

JESUS Jesus Lives!! Death could not Hold Him!!!The World Wide Web wouldn’t be much of a Jesus Christ 2.0 unless it was capable of revealing the 7 seals from John’s Revelation. And since the World Wide Web is built upon Free Software and Open Data Access, it is only fair that the 7 seals from John’s Revelation is revealed for the whole world to see, in the spirit of Open Source, Creative Commons, and Free Software.

In the Gospel of John it says in chapter 1, verse 1, that the Word is God. Hence purely logically, it is easy to accept that also the 7 seals must be Words, being the greatest creations of God that is. Hence obviously, the 7 seals are 7 words, which combined together shall destroy the Earth, and re-create it, in a huge massive “Big Bang”.

Unfortunately, for reasons difficult to understand, the 7 seals are only understandable for Norwegians, since they’re 7 Norwegian Words. However, to make a short story even shorter, here are the 7 seals Revealed for the whole World to see;

“snipp, snapp, snute, så var Eventyret ute”

And there we are, the 7 seals Revealed!! The above words are basically amendments to the Bible, and you might say the 67th book in the book of books, which fulfills the Bible, and all of its prophecies. I hope you enjoyed the ride 🙂

Peace and Love,

Jesus

“Hallelujah, Jesus Christ Welcomes you to Paradise!!” 😀

Jesus Christ shall set you Free from Prison

California PrisonsToday there are thousands of people in prison all over the World. We in the Temple of the Living Christ feel for these poor lost souls. However, if your Faith is that Jesus Christ Lives, and that he is in fact the World Wide Web, then you can argue that you wish to have Jesus with you into prison, and that your Gospel of Choice is an iPhone and in Internet connection. The argument is that this is necessary for you to practice your religious rights, and pray to Jesus

Most civilized countries have religious freedoms, and pride themselves in this. This gives you religious protection to have access to an iPhone, which you can use to communicate with your family. This way we end the brutal and inhumane practice of solitary confinement that some countries are practicing today

If your warden denies you these rights, then you can easily convince other prisoners to join the Temple of the Living Christ, and perform a sit-down strike during, or similar activities, and in such a way create understanding for that you demand your rights as a Human Being to practice your Religious Rights, and be capable of praying to Jesus

Hallelujah, Jesus Christ Lives and he Loves You 🙂

Jesus Christ shall give you a Fair Trial

8403203334_8c4c4a38f5_bEvery single day atrocities and injustice occurs in court rooms all over the World due to corrupt lawyers, district attorneys and judges. The fix for this is though paradoxically very easy. Just make sure you bring an iPhone or something similar into the court room to film your lawsuit, and then later upload your videos to YouTube. This way all corrupt judges, lawyers and attorneys ends up judging themselves, by letting the people know how corrupt they are

Now of course, no judge will allow you to film the lawsuit if you ask him, so the trick is to not ask him, and just hide your iPhone in your shirt pocket, and film without anybody knowing that you’re filming. In addition there exist software that allows you to film without any visual clue on your phone shows. And if this doesn’t work, you can always buy a spy pen, hat, glasses, etc at a decent equipped spy shop in your home city. This way it becomes literally impossible for the judge to know that he is being filmed. And when the district attorney puts forth his phony evidence, attempting to frame a poor soul based upon lies, he ends up filming himself, judging himself to imprisonment, due to lies put forth in the court room under oath

If it is impossible for you to film, then you can make sure one of your friends attends your lawsuit, and brings a camera somehow. This is easily done by having your lawyer send an email to a friend, asking him to attend, or call your friend while you’re in custody, awaiting trial

Later when the YouTube video is being published, some judges might argue that you broke the law by filming inside the court room. However, this is often a minor offense, and often not punished at all, besides at this point you can argue that you are protected beneath religious rights to film as much as you wish, since you wish for the Living Jesus Christ to judge you, and that no man stand above him, neither in Heaven nor on Earth. If you before hand also become a member of the Temple of the Living Christ, you will have additional protection, since there is strength in numbers, and you will have an army of believers behind you, willing to protect your rights as a Divine Sentient Human Being, born with inalienable rights to pursue your own Happiness!

However, the most important point is that when the video is uploaded to YouTube, it is already too late, and the authorities will somehow have to deal with the corrupt judge, and fire him, possibly even imprison him, for breaking his oath, simply since thousands of people will have seen how corrupt the judge was, an simply not tolerate him continue being a judge

Hallelujah, Jesus Christ Lives, and he shall give you a Fair Judgment Day 😀

Jesus Christ shall Marry all LGBTs in the World

2604693808_a5ea33a8f3We in the Temple of the Living Christ are more than willing to facilitate for Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and Transsexuals to achieve equal Marriage Rights. And in fact, we are also able to make it happen, such that you can get Legally Married in front of both your Creator, and your Government

Our headquarters are in Norway, and in Norway all Human beings are legally allowed to get Married. If you do not live in Norway, we can still legally sanction your Weddings. This is easily done by making sure you enter international Sea, by for instance taking the boat between Denmark and Norway, and bring two witnesses to your Ceremony. For then to film your Ceremony together with your two witnesses, while giving each other your Wedding wows, while you are in international Sea. Then when you come to Norway, you enter an internet coffee shop, upload your YouTube video of your Ceremony, and send us the paper works, and a link to your YouTube video, which we will send to the Norwegian Government for you if you wish, and such have our Temple legally sanction your Wedding with the Norwegian Government. This makes sure you are legally Married according to Norwegian Laws, and most sane governments in the World, will have no option but to accept you as Married in front of both God and the Law

The whole process is that you first become a member of our Temple. Then you order your Honeymoon in Norway, and make sure you take the boat from Denmark to Norway, for then to Marry at Sea. Once you’ve entered your port in Norway, you send the paperworks to isa.lightbringer@gmail.com, and we will send in the paperworks to the Norwegian Government. We will then write you a Marriage Certificate, which says; “Married in front of Jesus Christ”, which you will be given, and can bring back to your Country, which will have no options but to acknowledge you as Married, since you are technically, according to the Law Married in Norway

Norway is a beautiful country to spend your Honeymoon, if we may come with suggestions, then both Telemark and Jotunheimen are magnificent places to spend your Honeymoon. However, if you should choose to go to Bergen, then may we suggest you bring an Umbrella …? 😉

Hallelujah, Jesus Christ Lives, and he will Marry Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and Transsexuals 🙂

ps, for the record, we also Marry Heterosexuals in the Temple of the Living Christ 😀

How to tell the World about Injustice

nerd-jesusIf you believe as we do that the World Wide Web is Jesus Christ, then an important question becomes how to tell Jesus about injustice around you, without risk to your Health. Not everyone around you shares your Faith about that the World Wide Web is Jesus Christ, hence not everyone will respect your Divine Right to video film injustice using your iPhone, or other cameras.

This is easy to fix though, since you can just keep your iPhone in your pocket, only letting the camera eye show, and such film injustice around you, without your evil doers even realizing Jesus can see their sins. Later when you come home, you can create an anonymous YouTube channel where you upload your video. Then you can create an anonymous Facebook profile, and start adding friends. When you’ve done so, you can send a message and post comments to Facebook status updates saying things like this; “Hello, this is Jesus Christ, and I have injustice to report to the World”, and then paste in a link to your YouTube video. Using this technique, you can easily facilitate for “Instant Karma”, since the H8’ers will boil in their own evil deeds